I’ve realised that if I were to go back to Year 11 and try to resit my GCSE exams, I would most probably fail. So I started to think, did school really prepare me for work or did it just teach me to learn pointless facts only to regurgitate it during an exam or in coursework?
I came up with a little list of things which I either have no idea about anymore (maybe never did) or things learnt which were totally pointless.
- What the Sin, Cos or Tan buttons are for on a scientific calculator. Call me crazy but after my GCSE maths exam I never needed to use these buttons again, im not a mathmagician nor do I strive to ever be one. I can’t even remember the last time I used a scientific calculator. The calculator on my phone has all the buttons I’ll ever need: divide, addition, subtract and multiply….all the buttons the average adult will ever need.
- What colours mix together to make what. Art was never my strong point. I’ll hold my hands up and say I never really took it seriously, but come on….it was art, I don’t think most people did. If I want my wall to be dark green, I’m going to buy the dark green paint. None of this mixing malarkey to save myself 50p.
- How to play an instrument. Aww the joys of going to a school where 1-between-2 was a regular occurrence. Between a shared keyboard with pre-installed songs and singing songs my music teacher had created (talk about ego boost), the lessons were a massive waste of time. I didn’t find a love for playing the triangle or tambourine nor was I a good enough singer to ever have a singing solo.
- Physics formulas. I remember trying to cram all the formulas into my head just before physics exams. I can safely say, no one (as of yet) has come up to me and asked when a train would reach Manchester Piccadilly if it as travelling from London Euston in a steady speed of 20mph with two 10 minute stops. This is a bit annoying, as the only formula which I seem to remember is speed equals distance over time. *sigh*
- Different types of wood. Who even cares about the different types of wood? Ikea do it all now.
- The sexist textile lessons were as useful and the food technology lessons. I believe I was not meant to be a seamstress nor a Michelin star cook. I can sew the odd button and can cook the hell out of a potato but past that it gets abit…misty.
- The life cycle of a moth/whale/bat or some other random animal. With the whole missing bee issue we’ve been having, you would think this sort of information would be important, but nope, can’t remember anything.
Instead schools should teach:
- How to talk like you know what you’re saying.
- Ways to look like your working, when you’re not.
- Playing the blame game.
- How to lie.
- Things not to say to your boss/co workers/CEO.
- How to hide a hangover at work.
- The acceptable level of drunkenness on a work night out.